If you allowed someone to see all of you to include your thoughts and actions would you fear they would leave you? Would you fear getting hurt? Do you realize I am using a word that is created in mind made dominance on it’s own? It keeps you from your true being.. it keeps you from being connected. In this connection no deception, no false self, no speculation of consequences. What do we do now? now that we know the core error that has kept us within the human body that should not only flourish as it grows, but should be around longer than 80 years to 200 years.
If you just feel your way through this you will find that you will not only impact those around you the energy essence that is within you will finally find it’s solace in being the light it came from in the beginning. It can be said that you can find someone who is your twin flame… A twin flames connection is based on this very thing. It can be felt and it can be ignited but it doesn’t mean that the mind made self that was created will now be released and transparency will now be in place. I have been searching for what seems to be answers my whole existence here and why I am not necessarily here but why I can feel something deep within that is only a reflection of this experience and yet it seems simple inside me. Back when I was lost I had a mind dominance that was much like any.
How did I get here, October 18, 2007 I was going to leave this place, I realized I was an evil person who was destined to have a very violent death with no need to return to this life or any other. The choice was made it was the day that I died… and I did… what was me never returned.. I, being the word I, will use in this tense to explain that I, a very big ego and a very big boulder, I was carrying on my back. I was living a dream that I created, and shared, never realizing that I wasn’t meant to. It was a gift that was abused. I shared intimate connected things I felt I deserved, and was destined to have even if I had to teach it to someone.. yet this was only a very small part of a bigger thing that I truly needed… I needed to die.. this was the rebirth.. I struggled to place myself in this form.. being alien I could do nothing but smile.. cause something new happened to me, I was of the nature to be one with all and then realized all the things I did to hurt others I had to come clean with.. I started writing, I started so I could just let all the jumbled words come out to make sense.. It was a healing thing I did as I was once taught when I was younger that when you are hurt the best way to heal is to get it out and look at it.. keeping it in, you don’t know the impact of it’s nature to take you from seeing what is keeping you from this very dream. The more I wrote the more pain I felt.. the more I read it, the more it removed this place inside me.. What did it remove exactly…
Well it removed the thought process that kept me from allowing the answers to experience this great love I knew inside me was true.. It never was spoken as loud as it did as this started happening.. The thoughts being gone when I would go to bed were out of this world. I had none, and I would meditate and listen and allow myself to find the silence that was now within that wanted so badly to emerge, yes I said silence, for now the connection to another could be possible cause I could connect! Cause I learned to connect inside myself. How can you connect with another if inside you could not connect with self??
As I faced all the things I done, all the pain I caused I became something else. What I thought would destroy me, did just that! Imagine fireworks going off inside you as mesmerized as we are as human beings watching fire works. Are you sure this very thing can’t happen inside you?
My thoughts destroyed me and now I was dead and the true being emerged.. Sincerity of what I had done was all within me. A growing level of forgiveness has been spawned and now had no limitations and a level of forgiveness as never ending as a line itself. The belief that something more was out there no longer a question cause it was now something inside of me that was more and was real to me, inside of self, inside of being.. It no longer was a dream.
What it is exactly had being (the soul itself) so evolved… I became deeply rooted.. deeply rooted…. let me explain this as the more I write, the more I can point to the root as it is exactly what connects us, Ever seen the oldest living tree in existence how strong do you think the root is?? Now imagine the oldest recorded tree is 9550 years old. How did it live that long? If we don’t know where to water the root you will never grow the tree or sustain the truth of existence inside the tree.
In my dreams I would actually feel planted as though in my reality became more of my dreams. Not because I thought about it, but rather I understood consciously why I had this in me. This place inside me saw vivid moments of passion, not like dreams of moments of sexual content as I felt so drawn to pre staged of self.. but the intimate architecture of being close to someone who was in touch with themselves and oozed the passion inside of themselves that came outside to touch me and connect with me in such a way, this was to bring about the bliss that both could be lost in. How can you share this with another if you never experienced it yourself?
I always wanted this in every way and in every moment. Yet it seemed that human existence experience outweighed the imaginative place of intimacy that was meant to be cultivated in this place.
I thought I was just like any ordinary human being everyone thought or dreamed about intimately connecting. Yet something more real I had to experience needed to come about, cause I needed to experience not just what could be described as death itself but a great loss of all things. This letting go of material physical expression had to be embraced. It needed this to be one with the orgasmic explosion of life I had to find inside myself where this explosion was still exploding!
The more truth inside I gave out of myself and shared with others, something emerged from me that could be described as nothing more than a freeing of the caged dreams I have within me. I made choices to face things straight on no matter how painful, no matter how many were affected.
This was last nights show it was very powerful the 5 of us brought energy alive… take a listen